Old Veteran Hoofer (knick_knack) wrote in bmash,
Old Veteran Hoofer

Weapon of Choice: Razor blades
Drug of Choice: Botox
Sexiest Bodypart: ass
Since BMASH are all shapeshifters, what mankilling Animal does your Silky Hoe turn into?: A swan
If You Were A Silky Hoe, What Would Your Name Be?: Backdoor Vasil
Please Describe This Silky Hoe: Born to a migrant farmer worker and a gypsy fortune teller in the rural countryside of eastern Slovakia, Vasil was smuggled into America at the tender age of two and sold to wealthy urbanites living in the Catskills by a cartel of Slovakian baby thieves. Eager to help their adopted son fit into his new surroundings, Mr. and Mrs. Krautmeyer afforded Vasil every luxury money could buy. Despite this, Vasil was constantly ridiculed by his peers because of his thick accent, snow white hair, and propensity to wear overly tight pants (in a truly European fashion!). Alas, not even achieving a 1600 score on the sats nor winning countless regional bridge tournaments could earn their respect. Unable to cope with the situation any longer, Vasil abandoned his surroundings, adopted parents, and the life of luxury on the eve of his 17th birthday, leaving behind little more than a tear-soaked hankerchief and heading towards the forgiving shores of California.

Arriving in the San Fernando Valley several months and many hitched rides later, Vasil quickly fell in with a bad crowd. Earning much less than minimum wage dancing on barroom tables, Vasil was introduced to one Otis P. Van Der Bois. Within the space of a month, Vasil was acting in seedy, low budget pornography and lost in the depths of a heroin addiction. Just when all seemed hopeless, however, Vasil was confronted in a dark alleyway by a man of eastern european origin, demanding at gunpoint what remained of Vasil's estate. In a fit of what local newspapers would later describe as 'a divine possession,' Vasil thrust the brass plated heel of his stiletto shoe into his assailant's heart. Rummaging through the now dead mugger's wallet for spare change, Vasil made a discovery that would change his life for ever: his murder victim was in fact his genetic father! Startled by the coincidence and symmetry regarding this event, Vasil decided to hence forth use his powers of sexyness for good and the general well-fare of silky hoes everywhere!

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